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Getting sex in JavaScript

Something I had forgotten I wrote. It's from a thread that once existed over on Experts Exchange. Enjoy!

From: ********* Title: "JavaScript and Sex"
Points: 5 Date: Monday, March 13 2000 - 01:48PM CET

Can anyone tell me how I can use my skills in JavaScript to get more girls/sex please.
Thanks in advance
****

From: nettrom
Date: Monday, March 13 2000 - 01:40PM CET

Unfortunately the methods needed to get girls/sex in JavaScript are dependant upon the DOM of each girl. Therefore, you will have to make sure you sniff what version of said DOM each girl has before you try to get them. If you do not do this the result is a fatal error.

Therefore, always start each session with:

var mySelf = new Me();
var myGirl = new Girl();
if(myGirl.DOMversion < 2) {
  myGirl.leave(); // too old DOM version
}

Then you can get the girl, and have sex. It's fairly straightforward, the DOM 2 really helped since it has methods for everything you'd ever want to do. In DOM 1, as you might know, the leave() method might make the girl angry, and you'll exit with a fatal error.

The natural next step of your session is to get the girl. If you forget to do that she'll leave when you try to have sex with her.

if(myGirl.stillPresent) {
  // girl is still with us
  myGirl.get(); // get girl!
}

Now that we've correctly gotten the girl we can undress and have sex. Remember to set the sex.safe property to 'true' first, or else you might end up with another fatal error. The previous lines then become:

if(myGirl.stillPresent) {
  // girl is still with us
  myGirl.get(); // get girl!
  mySelf.undress();
  myGirl.undress();
  sex.safe = true; // must rember to have safe sex!
  myGirl.getOnBed();
  mySelf.getOnBed();
  mySelf.haveSex(myGirl);
}

It's as easy as that.

Tomorrow's lesson: How to have even better sex with the new DOM v3!

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